


The Looking Glass is Broken

by Brianneinlove



Series: Darker side of Alice [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Altered Mental States, Alternate Universe - BDSM, Anal Sex, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, BAMF Bucky Barnes, Bondage, Dark, Flashbacks, M/M, Multi, Nightmares, POV Tony Stark, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Steve Rogers, Rape Recovery, Safe Sane and Consensual, Spanking, Tony Stark-centric, how do I tag this?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-11-22 14:58:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11382561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brianneinlove/pseuds/Brianneinlove
Summary: “Tony baby calm down you’re ok, it’s me your safe. We have you.” I feel the stroking on my leg and hear Bucky’s voice. I can’t see him. Why did they restrain me?  I try to cry out. It is most defiantly not OK! “It’s ok Steve will be right back he went to get the doctor. You scared the fuck out of us.” He comes into view and strokes my hair. “Relax honey it’s going to be fine.” My mind tells me that is an order, from a Dom. I can’t help it my body goes limp. “There’s our good boy Ya”





	1. Not Him

**Author's Note:**

> This is a continuation of the Down the rabbit hole's dark ending. It is a must read for This chapter of Whips, chains and gags...oh my!. It happens after they get Tony Back. This is going to be a dark fic with rape/non con flash backs to the scenes from that story. It is Tony's recovery physically and mentally and how his mind deals with it. Yes our boys are there but it is going to be a long hard road for everyone involved. Please READ the tags! This is a DARK fic full of dark themes! each chapter will have notes at the beginning as to any issues found there in.
> 
> (edit) I added this to the Darker Side of Alice series as I want to continue a parallel story arc with my Whips chains and ball gags oh my...I just felt if I want another story on this arc it would need its own series. I'm sorry if it messed with subscriptions.

I wake up, fuck, I hurt everywhere. There is a buzzing in the back of my mind. I don’t remember getting that fucked up, wait when was I drinking last? The club, ya I had a few. It was not a bender; not in over a year. Why there is a heavy weight on my right shoulder? I try to turn my head, but it won’t move. What the fuck Steve left me tied up over night? I try to lift my legs; there is a weight there as well. I can’t do that either! Wiggle the legs, and that hurts like all fuck! Not the fun kind of hurt after a good night with my guys! A sharp stabbing kind of pain all down my legs, arms, in my ass, ok so that is normal. You take 2 super powered dicks at one time and yep it feels kinda like that. I try again to move. Arms and legs are held. 

Ok so not Was there a mission? God damn it did I die again? That is what this reminds me of being dead and then not. I can’t even swallow with this plastic tube shoved down my throat. Wait why the fuck did I not notice that in the beginning? I groan as much as I can around the tube, it comes out more garbled bubbling. The weights on my body lessen and I hear a voice, my brain tells me that is safe but I can’t help it. I panic. I am tied down… again and I don’t know why. I can’t talk or move, and I don’t see anyone at all! I start the thrash yanking at the bonds. They have my head pinned to the table. I remember this. Oh please! No! Not the water. God please. Just not that! I try to scream it causes me to choke on the tube.

“Tony baby calm down you’re ok, it’s me your safe. We have you.” I feel the stroking on my leg and hear Bucky’s voice. I can’t see him. Why did they restrain me? I try to cry out. It is most defiantly not OK! “It’s ok Steve will be right back he went to get the doctor. You scared the fuck out of us.” He comes into view and strokes my hair. “Relax honey it’s going to be fine.” My mind tells me that is an order, from a Dom. I can’t help it my body goes limp. “there’s our good boy Yah”

“Even if he is awake it does not mean we won’t have to re-sedate him captain. Last time the reaction was so violent. I know this is hard, and it will take time.” It is a strange man’s voice. I see Bucky watching me I must look like a wild animal he is cooing at me and stroking my arm. Trying to keep me calm.

“I know Doc. We just need to give it try. I want what is best for him and we both know the longer it takes the harder it will be for him.” I hear Steve. I missed him. Wait why do I miss him?

“I know be aware there will be scars and even with the transfusion there is no guarantee it will take. And the drug in his system it…we don’t know how it will react.” they keep talking like I’m not here and I’m going to break something. Bucky must see that in my face. He winks at me and smiles up to them.

“HE is awake” I hear Bucky remind them. I whine again and pull at the restraints “No baby we can’t take those off yet. You ripped up stitches 4 days ago and decked the nurse when she tried changing the tubes.” I need to see them I have to know they are ok. 

“We can take the tubes out for now but it may have to go back in if we need to operate the rupture is not healed and may need another round of stitches. We are waiting on cho to get here it. Her tech may speed things along.” I am so lost I still don’t know how I got here. What rupture? Cho is it so bad they are calling in Cho? 

It takes the nurse 10 min to get the tube out, I still have not seen Steve. “I am so glad your awake and breathing normally. We missed you so much.” His hand takes mine even in the restraints. After the tube is out I try to turn to look at him, but still its no good. To make fucked up more screw you; I can’t get words out at first. I feel like I swallowed rocks!  
“Steeve?” I finally get out. A face comes into view, I start screaming trashing around. Who the fuck is that! “Get away from me!” I try to pull my hand back “Get away from me. Who the fuck do you think you are! Help Bucky please!! help!” He leaves my line of sight. I don’t know why I reacted like that but I just know he is not safe. Why would they let a stranger in my room to see me like this? He is not safe! I am not safe! I start crying. “Please. Steve! Bucky please Help!” Why the fuck are they not getting him out of my room?   
Bucky comes back into view and I hear a sob to the other side of my bed. “STOP” Bucky tries to calm me, he is holding my hand stroking my face. I freeze again the sound makes my mind think it’s a Dom order and my whole body is stuck mid thrash. Why did my brain tell me it’s a Dom issuing an order? I can’t move. “This is why you are tied down baby you keep freaking out and ripping out the stitches. You flip out anytime you see Steve.” I feel the blood run down my forarm. I must have reopened something. 

“THAT IS NOT Steve!!” I holler loudly. “Bucky why can’t I see him? Steve, I heard you talking! please I'm sorry!! Whatever I did to get here I'm sorry! Help me please, I'm sorry. I know I must have fucked up…I just… please! I need you!” I sob crying aloud “Why am I here??”

“You don’t remember?” I hear him I want to see him. “the club? The attack?”

“NO why can’t I move?! I see Bucky look off to the other side of the bed and then back to me, I try to see what he is looking at but can’t move my head. 

“Stevie go get the doctor again so he can re stich this and I’ll explain.” I strain but still feel that tickle in the back of my mind. Bucky is giving Sir orders?

“Relax Tony” I feel the voice wash over me and my whole body go lax. How is Bucky doing that! He is not a Dom he’s not even really a switch. Fucking Steve does not count! “That’s good baby, just let my voice sink into your mind; you’re so good for me” I catch my breath and ask again.

“Bucky why am I here?” I am calm now. Hurting all over and wanting to see my Sir but calm.

“What’s the last thing you remember?” he then chuffs a laugh at that I look lost at him, “oh I used to hate it when people asked that” I smile weakly.

“Umm I was not at the tower, you and Steve going, umm..a mission or something. Just gone.” I try to shake my head to lose the memory. He stills my movement.  
“Won’t help” he laughs. “keep going”

My body tenses “Ben! Meeting with him” Bucky starts petting my bicep. “a vid call with you and Steve? Bucky why do you have a Dom voice now? Did something happen to you?”

“Naw baby that’s the drug Ben gave you. I don’t have a Dom voice, but your body is flooding itself with the chemicals that tell us subs to submit. You will follow any command as if it was issued by a Dom. Your body can’t tell the difference. It will feel real to you, even pleasurable. Its not real and coming off of it… is painful and… we will get you through it ” he is interrupted when the door opens and the nurse comes in to fix my arm.

“Who? What drug?” I start to wiggle as she numbs my arm.

“Ben, he…be still babe let the pretty lady work” Bucky moves to the other side of the bed and my other hand. “He attacked you because I” He pauses “his Dom was killed for being kind to me. He wanted to hurt those I loved for his pain. He fed Nat the intel that took us away from you, forced you into a back room at the club…” He takes a deep breath tearing up a bit. He doesn’t want to continue.

“TELL ME!” I holler

“He cut you in the same ways his Dom was cut up. He was going to leave you to bleed out. He drugged you with a mix of drugs they used on me to make me Winter, and used a device to rip a hole in your intestines it was an old torture device. The drug has not worn off yet. It has been seven days and the doctors are worried it won’t ever wear off. It was not meant for a non-super metabolism and he gave you a nearly fatal dose.”

I don’t even know where to start processing that. “Why would you let Ben in my room? Is he working to make the drug wear off? and why can’t I see Steve?” He gasps, and I see his eyes look perplexed.

“Tony that is Steve. I don’t know what is causing the mix up in your head but that is our Dom. You flipped out each time you see him. We secured you head so you would not hurt yourself this time.” Bucky was still stroking my head and hands. “We can let you up if you can remain calm, but if it gets bad I will make Steve leave again until you are calmed down enough.”

“Steve?” I Croke out my mind a mess of pain and shock. “Please tell me this isn’t happening. This is a dream or some evil villain trick?”

“I wish I could Tony, it is killing me not to hold you or keep you safe right now. I had to give Bucky temporary care rights over you. When you were woke the first time the doctors…” I feel a hand on my foot he is rubbing my feet. I see Bucky shake his head they are god damned keeping something from me!! “We will get though this, I will make this right! I love you Tony.”

“Take off the head restraint please Bucky.” I am as calm as I am able to be. “I need to see, I need to be able to move. Its making it worse, to be helpless, for me”.  
Bucky looks back to my feet and then to me. “If you lash out or start moving too much I am going to command you to stop and put the restraints back. You’re not even close to healed yet.”

“Agreed” I consent. “I understand. James thank you” I address him like my Dom because that is how I see him right now. Safe and secure all the things I feel when I think about Steve.

The head restraint is removed and I slowly look to my feet where ‘Steve’ Is sitting he has his face turned away from me. It still takes everything in me not to jerk away. “No, its not… “ he turns his face to look at me. “Stop! Ben stop touching me. Bucky please make him stop. That is not Steve!” I start to panic. Flashes of the room play behind my eyes. The knife making the cut to my collar bone. I hear Steve yell to stop. The pain flows over me like it was just done. I can’t help it. “Help!” I scream out. I'm not there in the hospital the room anymore I know I’m not. “Steve! Bucky! Help make him stop. Oh god it hurts.” I close my eyes against it. Its no use its like a movie you can’t shut down. I can see and feel it all fresh in my body as well as my mind. I am mute in the move just laying there not even trying to move. My mouth won’t scream. It’s here in my head! I am able to scream and move. I am pinned in place there laying on the table I feel the pain in my ass as he is turning the device. I see Ben’s face so clearly. It’s the same as the man in the room now. He is going to hurt me again. I keep yelling.

“TONY STOP MOVING” I hear the command and I’m pulled back into the present. I stop physically moving. I feel the hand on my feet move away. “Breath Take 5 deep breaths and listen to my voice.” The command is less urgent. I feel the panic loosen a bit. I breath in and out. “Good Baby so good for us.” In again and out. I am sobbing between them. I feel the burn of the sedative in my arm though the IV. I breath again. “That’s it love keep it up 3 more ok.” I breath again. The sobs dwindle. I feel a hand at my forehead.

“No” I ask in a broken voice “don’t force me still, I was… Ben did and I can’t take that now. Please Steve, I’ll be good just don’t”

Bucky is the voice that answers “Anthony it is for your own good right now. They are putting you back under for a while. We need your body to heal a bit more. Trust me sugar. I got you just like old times. Only roles reversed. Remember how many times you help me though the fits in the beginning. How many nights it was you check’n on me when Stevie was away. Let me have you now ok. Trust me?”

“With my life always” I feel myself fall as I mumble in to the dark “always”


	2. Tell Me you know me!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Steve, we have to wake him up again, and I am going to say something you’re not going to like.” Bucky was kneeling at Steve’s feet. He did not want to be there right now but he was neglecting his own body as he took care of Tony. Steve had to drag him out of the hospital. “I need you” he paused and took a breath “I need you to not be there” He said to the floor. He was sad to keep the two men he loved apart but this is why Steve made him Tony’s Guardian; he knew Bucky would always do what is best for their lover. He was in the best hands outside of Steve’s own

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not beta'ed thought I would warn people. The mistakes are my own. I want to say thanks to Toxicphandom who inspired both the starting of this fic and keeping me floating in ideas when I got stuck! Thank you so much!

7 full days later…

“Steve, we have to wake him up again, and I am going to say something you’re not going to like.” Bucky was kneeling at Steve’s feet. He did not want to be there right now but he was neglecting his own body as he took care of Tony. Steve had to drag him out of the hospital. “I need you” he paused and took a breath “I need you to not be there” He said to the floor. He was sad to keep the two men he loved apart but this is why Steve made him Tony’s Guardian; he knew Bucky would always do what is best for their lover. He was in the best hands outside of Steve’s own. 

“I know” is all Steve said. “right now, I need you to give me a few hours alone with you. I need you to be at your best to take care of him, and that means some time under.” He pulled Bucky’s head back hard by his hair and kissed him deeply. Bucky shifted in the ropes and kissed him back. He did not want to be here right now; he wanted to be in the room with Tony watching over him. Keeping him safe; knowing he was safe. It was a physical pain to leave that room. Tony was only in due to Bucky’s past “Winter that is not a request” Bucky knew Steve was right. If Tony’s brain was flooded with the chemicals subs needed to be healthy and whole, but Bucky was practically starved for them he had gone too many days without this. He knew it was bad when he yelled at Steve this morning and snapped at a doctor. 

“Yes sir.” Is all he said. He was not in a place mentally for sex so Steve agreed to bondage and spanking to help clear his mind. He wiggled in the ropes to feel the hold they had on him. These were the ropes Tony had designed for him, to keep him safe and secure. He could with effort break them but not without a lot of strength.

It took them hours to get Bucky where he needed to be, but after being tied to the ceiling and spanked purple he was finally under. Steve watched his sub wiggle and whine as he untied him. He nosed at Steve’s crotch trying to get to his Dom’s cock. Steve clearly told him “Winter No, we talked before; you are not in the right head space for sex and that is ok. I am ok. This was not about me, now look at me.” He tilled his head up and Steve kissed him deeply full of want and reassurance. “It’s not that I don’t want you, Buck you know that. I want you comfortable, and this was about meeting your needs not mine.” 

“Thank you, sir,” Bucky sat there with Steve, on the floor, petting his arm and back as he came back up. It took a warm shower and some food for Bucky to come back up fully. Steve looked up at Bucky “I know you need to wake him, and I know I should not be there. I can’t stay here its too far away, but I will watch from the 2 way glass and not speak. I want to be there. Is that an ok compromise?” 

Bucky hated seeing Steve like this, powerless, and yes as long as they could unrestraint Tony it was ok. “Ya Steve that would be ok. He is at a point where the doctors don’t want to keep him sedated anymore. I showed you the files. The transfusions did not take but his human body is doing well. There is no reason now… just the drugs” He took a deep breath. Worried the drug would never work its way out, and Tony would never see Steve right again. They tried a blood transfusion with the serum helping tony heal but it never took. They were compatible as a donor but the effects did not transfer.

The car ride to the hospital was fifteen minutes Bucky sat in the passenger seat with his metal hand holding on to Steve's hand. “Bucky, it will be ok, Cho said she is working on a drug cocktail that will cancel out the effects, and we got lucky that Ben had a few does left when he died.” 

“What if he does not recover? Doesn’t know you? Steve, we could lose him!” He was mad at so many things right now. His past for doing this to Tony, Ben for not taking him instead. He would fix this if it took forever. He lowers his head and growls “I can’t think that way he will recover, and if he forgets your face; we will teach him to love and trust you again. We did it with me.” 

Steve smiled and pulled in to the garage for the hospital and dropped Bucky off. “I’ll be right up after I park, I’ll go right into the observation room ok?” Bucky nods kisses him and gets out to head to Tony’s room. There was some talk about having Tony moved to the tower set up a hospital there but Pepper said it would be harder to keep Tony in the bed if he could retreat to his own space.

When Bucky gets to the room he sees Cho sitting on Tony’s bed with a tray of needles to her left. “James. I think I found a way to help, but He needs to be awake, and its not going to be easy.” She describes the process of fixing the drug and it sounds almost cruel. “This fix involves blocking the receptors to the drug for a small time. It will feel like fire in his brain, and it will force a Sub Drop. He will have to stay that way for at least an hour for each treatment. You can’t allow anything to help him easy the drop its cold turkey. Then introduce a natural cure for drop, you will know what is best for him in that aspect. After he is level we will then need to take him under for a time. The issue is the cure will wear off in a few hours so this has to be done fast, and this will have be done over and over until his brain learns the difference between the drug and the natural transmitters produced when Doms take him under. The hope is this drug will break down before we have to do administer the cure too many times. The drops are not good for his heart, and coupled with the psychological trauma, his mental recovery will be a long way off.

He’s not sure he can put Tony though that, He asks her to wait until Tony’s awake enough to talk to them it will give him time to talk to Steve. she nods but warns “the longer his brain stays swimming in the Drug the harder it will be.” James nods and she turns off the IV that was sedating Tony. He leaves to review with Steve. “This will take a hour or so to wear off.” Cho says to the glass she knows they are behind.

An hour later…  
I wake up feeling sore again. I am aware they have woken me a few times, last time to a tube down my throat and bound to the bed. I am still held at hands and legs, but my head is not pinned down. I look around I see Bucky and Cho. No Steve. “Where is he?” I ask my voice soft and horse. 

“Do you remember the last time we woke you?” Bucky asks. I nod “He is not going to be around you until we can get you out from under the drug. The stiches came out today, and the tear in your backside is healing. You will need a while before you can eat solid foods again.” 

“Why are you here?” I ask Cho no politeness in my voice 

“The drug interferes with neurotransmitters in the brain. It flooded your body with them to the point you will not be able to ignore any command from anyone. Your body will force you to submit or risk a drop. It got worse as your body also kept producing its own transmitters from any command you heard. It’s a vicious cycle. I'm hoping I found a way to reverse it. It will be painful and I need you fully healed before I can start in earnest. I will also need you to be ok with your Dom or a Dom if you can’t work with Steve for now. If this works you won’t have any of the transmitter working in your body for a while and a drop will happen. I want to test a small dose now, if you up for it. It will be a very very small one. I want to see if it helps you resist the Dom command voice. In hopes you should stop hearing all requests as commands. That is our first step if it’s going to work it has to do that.”

Bucky takes the time to explain what the Cure will entail the good and the bad. He wants me to try it but Steve is not able to put me under he warns. “I won’t work with any Dom other than my own. I am a contracted sub still as far as I know.” I look to Bucky and he smiles at me but does not say anything. 

He turned to Cho “He can’t see Steve yet. He flips out every time. Now is not the best time for a trial run.” Bucky is fighting for me. He eyes look to me, then back to the glass, then to her face. “We need more time.”

She looks put out Cho is like me I get it she wants to make it right, and fast. She is not as careless as I am but still “You could blindfold him. He seems ok hearing Steve speak. We could work with that.” Its Bucky’s turn to look worried. He goes to the bed and starts to unbuckle the restraints. He looks ragged I want to comfort him. Maybe it is just knowing what I did with Ben that keeps him distant. 

I know I should not soil him with my touch I can’t help it; I surge up to take a hold of him. I need to touch him. I must know he still wants me. I’m a mess and this is so much strain for him. I want to warp him in comfort and safety. I see it in his face this has been harder for him that he has let anyone know. He wraps his strong human arm around me and holds me. “I will do whatever it takes to get better. I can’t lose you or Steve. Let her help. I have dropped before I will again. It’s not that bad” I say into his neck as he keeps holding me tight. He Nods in acquiesce.

“Ok Tony if it’s what you want lets do the test run see if it helps. We will go from there ok darlin’” I nod and pull the arm with the IV free of his death grip and beckon Cho over. She pulls the injection from the tray and holds it up to the IV port. I flash back to the club, the bar where there are needles laid out full of a substance that burns. I see the Boys on the screen. I hear someone talking, then the fire in my neck and finally nothing. I am floating like I am in subspace. Happy. I see Steve’s face on the screen and he looks angry. I'm confused he likes me here on my knees hurting for him. I am being good, why is he angry. I stiffen as I feel the liquid fills the IV tube. I can see Cho work but I feel a million miles away.

“This is going to burn Tony but only for a few minutes ok?” I nod mutely but don’t let go of Bucky.

“I want Steve here Buck I need him. He was so mad at me, I was good but he was mad.” I sob a bit. I know I really got to get the unmanly crying shit under some kind of control for fuck sake, right now I cant see to stop.

“I know doll; I know” the fire in the medication is not a small burn like the drug Ben used, but a horrific blaze that runs under my skin from tip to tail. I convulse and my teeth clack, but Bucky holds on to me. “Is this suppose to happen?” he asks Cho as I flail. Three more convulsions then I am still. “Tony?” He is rubbing my arms. I can’t speak yet my jaw is held tight. I nod I am ok. 

“That was like shooting drainO” I am not going to tell them why I know what that feels like.

“How will we know if it helped?” Bucky asks

“Tell me, Tony how do you feel right now?” Cho asks me. The question is a frim order. She is not a Dom I can ignore it. She is my doctor I need to tell her.

“Cold. Empty like after a long time without some to take me under. Lost” I find myself telling her exactly what she asked me for holding nothing back.

“Why did you tell me?” She seems to understand that I am not a sharing kinda guy.  
“You asked?” I answer a bit sharp defensively “you the damn doctor I figured you would want to know” I am edgy I know this feeling too. I'm about to crash hard. “Bucky I'm..Fuck!”

“You answered me because I asked you? As a doctor or as an order?” She is pressing me she is not a Dom not my Sir. 

“Doctor” I answer I feel my body start to shake. “Bucky, Steve is not here? I need him I'm falling.”

“Cho how long will this last?” I hear Bucky ask. I start to feel sick. I know why Steve is not here. Who would want a sub like me. I was damaged before this but now. Now he has seen it with his own eyes, Slut. Worthless sub, willing to go under for anyone. He wont ever want me again. I close my eyes to the room; god and all the saints that was a mistake. My stomach rolls and I puke all over me, Bucky and the bed. “Shit Tony?” He is moving fast to get me cleaned up and himself. “Side effect?” He is asking Cho I am sure.

“He is going through a drop. Try to talk him through it.” I open my eyes as Bucky is wiping ups off. “If your voice can’t keep him level, then we know it’s working. If you can I will keep working to find a way”

“Pet. Look at me!” I hear Bucky’s… No its Winter. I hear Winter’s voice I look up to him. “Good” His voice is calming but not helping the feelings. “I need you to do what I say NOW” He puts force in the last words but it is not a Dom voice. I can say no. I need to say no I am Steve Rogers’ contracted sub. Winter is my lover but I won’t submit again to any other Dom.

“No” I look him in the eye. There is no submission in it. I know they need to see I am not under nor going under for Bucky. He is a sub; our sub, my lover not a Dom or MY Dom. He smiles at me and it melts my heart. “I need sir now. Winter please get him” It sounds like a request but I see his eyes flick to the mirror. Ya ok that is so not fooling anyone the two-way glass. Steve is here watching this. “Steve please I need you. Unless you are walking away from me.”

“It’s not the greatest idea honey, and I don’t want to have to hold you down again” Cho has left the room 

“Bucky whatever Ben’s drug did is not present now. I am dropping and its going to get worse. You know how this feels; they did this to you. I have seen the files. They pumped you full of this drug then used you, and let you drop. They allowed you to drop until you were so weak you would beg for help you. Please don’t make me do this. I NEEED him, not want him, not maybe I can do this without him, but need him.” That struck a cord with him. When Bucky first came back he was in a horrific drop. He did not tell anyone mostly ‘cause he did not know what was wrong with him. Hydra did not explain to him what his body needed. So, when he went in to fits and collapsed, we finally understood what was causing it. He would not let Steve or anyone touch him, and when Steve gave a command Bucky would ignore it. He did not see Steve as his anymore, and it took a while to earn his trust.

“Steve can you come in here?” He asked to mirror, well not mirror.

I sit waiting as Bucky starts to get rid of the vomit covered washcloths. “We are going to need a shower I fear. Well I will your going to need a bath” He smiles at me. At least he still wants me, maybe Steve will show me pity for Bucky’s sake and keep me, even if he does not want a contract anymore. I wouldn’t blame him. 

A tall blond man comes in the room slowly “Tony tell me you know me.” His voice is Steve’s and it washes over me I feel my mind respond but I look away. “NO look at me!” its an order and I snap fast back to looking at him. My brain races. It’s the face on the screen from the club he is sitting next to Bucky. I feel the knife slice my collar bone. ‘he could have stopped this.’ The voice in the room says. I reach up to the cut still healing. ‘bad sub’ I feel the tightness in my throat and reach for the collar to try and pull it loose it is missing. There is no collar there. I almost lose it He took it from me after I threw it away for Ben. “Tony! Tell me you know me!”

“Steve?” I ask again unsure of what I am seeing. “He said you could have stopped him. In my head Ben says you could have ended it? Is it true?”

“Now is not the time Pet I need you to tell me. Do you know me?” I keep staring. Looking inward finding a time before; a time we were happy. The night of Winters show, with 13. We were happy then. I can see his face light up as Winter is flogged and begging him for permission. I feel his erection in my hand as I flex it now. Even with the masks on I know those eyes. ‘he left you here with me, for the threat you made on me. He wants this for you’ I shake my head. That is in the past and the fucker is dead. I hold on tight to Bucky and breath though it. 

“Come closer.” I ask calmly. “and keep talking.” I am not supposed to give orders here. I am not the Dom but the man is complying. 

“You do know me don’t you pet? Its been a year ya? Ups and downs and you are still so perfect for us. Gorgeous and perfect. I need you Pet, I feel incomplete.” He kneels there near the edge of the bed looking up at me with tears in his perfect blue eyes. I know those eyes. Bens eyes were blue too but no one has this color eyes, just my sir.

“Sir?” I ask as I reach for his face. Its him but not. “I know your eyes and the sound of your voice. Please tell me its you!” I am too scared to ask for it but I want to feel his touch. I should pull away I will get him dirty. I am dirty and a slut; I was fucked in front of him by someone else. He should not touch me ever. I start to pull away. 

“Pet sit still” he stands up and leans over me to kiss me I keep my eyes locked with his and let him. This is not Ben I tell myself over and over again. I know its selfish I need him. I can do this I can pretend I am not unworthy of him. I will put on the same mask I have always worn and keep them. I want to be his pet serve him. Be anything he wants as long as he just keeps me. I do not kiss back but I stay still, I am good. A small moan escapes my lips as it feels so very good. “So good for me. I missed you so much.” He is rubbing my hair as he pulls away. I chase his lips at first then it clicks. 

“Steve!” I jump up from the bed and for a second see Bucky reach for me but backs off as I throw myself into Steve’s arms. He holds onto me tight. We stay like this for a while him petting me and holding me and Bucky. I feel level for a bit, but its not long lasting. 

“Stop hoggin’ the attention” Bucky jokes and my brain takes it as an order. I drop my arms from around the blond and look at Bucky. “Tony?” Bucky looks at me. “Fuck! Tony close your eyes! Right now Do it!” I follow Bucky’s order. The voice is back. “Say good night to Steve he has to go, and do not open your eyes! Do you understand?” I nod. 

“Good night Steve I miss you!” I feel him kiss my lips softly but quickly.

“Tony baby I will be back later” I hear Steve say he kisses my forehead and I hear a slight sob and the door closes.

“Open your eyes.” I do and it is just Bucky in the room. “You are glassy eyed. You are hearing my Dom voice again huh?” I nod. “The test went well then. Do you want to start the real treatments? I know this is going to hurt, but you knew Steve and we might be able to do this sooner rather than later”

“I want my fucking life back, and am about to burn the world to get it.” I glare at him. “Wanta help?” 

He grins that feral grin I love so much “You know it sugar”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that you all loved it, I am now sure we are going to get more than 3 chapters. I am on tumbler as shalandrial.  
> Kudos fuel me and comments excite me in all the fun ways!


	3. Off with his head!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We have to start somewhere. I'm an all in kinda guy Steve you know that.” I smirk and lean in to his space to kiss his forehead. “My head my not know your face but my heart will always know your hearts.” He hums into my soft kiss and I pull back, a bit too quickly, but he does not follow me just watches me wince.

14 days…  
It has been 14 full days later, the stiches are out and I am doing well. I have still not been able to spend time with Steve without the medication Cho gave me, And to make my day roses and sunshine the drops are getting worse. They tried small doses for the last 7 days it is helping me level out more but when it fades I see Ben where Steve was standing. I know in my logical mind it is not Ben; it’s not. Bucky showed me the Photos of Ben’s body. Told me he is dead and never coming back, but I can’t let it go, physically I see his face in Steve's.

“I hate to ask this Tony, but is it possible this is psychological in some way? You still don’t recall much of that night and the mix of hearing us and seeing us could be fuck’n with you? I mean you asked Steve the first time we woke you if he could have stopped Ben. He didn’t answer you. Do you remember?” I look at Bucky a bit confused; he is helping me get ready to leave the hospital packing my clothes and few personal items. We decided to continue Cho’s treatments at home. Why is he asking me this now?

“I remember he did not answer me yes. I don’t have a lot of memory of the day you woke me. Things are still fuzzy. Will you answer me? You were there too you know.” I eye him sideways. If I keep this light maybe I can get some answers fill in the black hole that is my month. Note to self get Bucky his own jet or something; fuck this sucks with just a few weeks missing, that poor bastard is missing 50 years! 

He stops the packing and sits on the bed and eyes the glass wall in my room; shakes his head and takes a deep breath. “Yes we could have stopped him to some degree. Anything he did to you…” He looks back to the glass and I hear a bang. I know Steve is there, hiding his face from view. “Sorry Steve he has the right to know.” There is an audible noise then a click the com comes on. 

“NO! Bucky, you won’t tell him. That’s an order!” I see something darken in Bucky’s face he glares hard at the two-way glass. 

“Fuck this” He looks at me but his then his mouth snaps shut. I know why I did not have to hear Steve to know what happened.

“DON’T!” I hear from the other room. He pulls the com from his ear and hands it to me. 

“I’m sorry Tony here talk to him.” He stands from the bed and stalks to the glass “Either you tell him the truth or I will!” Bucky grits though the command. He is pushing through the pain. Disobeying such a strong command from a Dom can be painful. Our mind pushing us to comply and our body being forced to rebel away. We can ignore it but its not easy to do. “and I know you will punish me for it but this is not helping him. You put me in charge here for a god damn reason Rogers!”  
I put the com link in my ear “Do you love me Steve?” I ask looking at the glass “I'm not asking to be a mellow dramatic teen or anything I need to know. Cause if you do you will tell me what happened. You know me I can’t stomach no knowing. I will want to see the Vid at some point. So tell me do you love me?”

“You know I do Tony” He answers but he is mad and I can all but feel it. “Ben said if I did to Bucky what he was doing to you he” A deep breath taken again. “he would stop hurting you. He also said no matter what we did you would not live though it. Bucky asked me, to damn near begged me to, but I couldn’t cut on him like that, and some of the things he did we had no way of doing on the jet. When James finally couldn’t take it anymore he said he did not care if I was his Dom he needed to do something and would leave me if I did not help you in some way.” My eyes go wide as I catch Bucky’s eyes in the glass. He is looking at me like he can hear what Steve said. 

“The cuts on your collarbone they are my fault. The times I could have stopped Ben from an action but didn’t. He said he would add one each time I failed to save you. He told you each time it was my fault you were hurt.” I know the tears are flowing from my eyes but I have not blinked. I just stood staring at the glass; seeing mine face and Bucky behind me. His legs extended and crossed at the ankles staring right back at me. “You think I am him because I could have saved you but refused to. He took you under but you could hear my voice; could hear me denying you help you did not even know you needed. The doctors don’t know if I will ever be able to take you under fully again, or if you mind will reject me. You called yellow and he did not stop. He told you there was no safety that night that you would never be safe again. Please give Bucky back the com.” He is calm in his words, but I knew Steve and he was in a pain I could not begin to understand. I have heard of a sub rejecting his Dom physically even if that sub wants the Dom on an emotional level, It is so rare and it has only happened in cases where the dom abuses their power and harms the sub beyond repair.

I am shaking “So let me get this right. If you had cut on Bucky, raped him, and cut up his insides you could have spared me.” I am fucking sick they think this would have ever been ok with me. I snarl at Bucky in the glass and step quickly to the glass wagging a finger at the Steve I can’t see. “Get your god damn ass in this room” I am about to chew me some super soldier ass. “I don’t give a good god damn about what seeing you will do. GET. IN. HERE. NOW!” I know I am not a Dom, and I should not be issuing orders but Bucky was right Fuck this. I turn and hand Bucky back the com wag my finger at him too “Tell that oaf of a man to get in here, or so help me Bucky Barnes we are going to fight!”

I see him come into the room. I still see Ben, but I know better. “Sit your ass down” I am red in the face and shaking. I will not fear this face. I'm too mad to fear him right now. It’s not Ben. Bucky comes to comfort me. Fuck that I have had it. “NO!” I pull away from him. “Sit!”  
“Now he thinks he is a Dom lol” Bucky laugh and sits down next to Steve on my hospital bed. “This is a new twist hay Stevie?” He nudges Steve over to make room on the bed where they both take a seat. I start pacing. 

“I don’t care one fucking bit about what you could have done, or what you didn’t do that day. Never ever again are you to harm each other over me! EVER! I am so pissed off I'm about to start punching shit!” I feel my stomach lurch as I look at them. “Did you do anything to him Steve? I need to know” I may never forgive him if James got hurt over me!

“Only one thing, and trust me it was not a terrible thing. Just a blowjob, well a choking blowjob.” Bucky answers me; trying not to smile. The fucker knows I love to see him choke on Steve! “he had just dosed you and if we didn’t he was going to cut you again, it would have brought you back up too fast and he said..” he lowered his head he did not want to tell me. Then when amusement left his voice and the words came out flat he straitened up and looked me right in the eyes. I could see it he was choosing not to hide this from me. “said he would dose you again, I know how hard that drug is on a body, I lived it, and the amount he had already given you meant your heart rate was though the roof. It would have killed you flat out Tony.” He looked ashamed of the actions, but he was clear headed and not going to back down. I could see he made the right call in his mind; it was written all over his face. “I would have done more, I offered to trade me for you , but it was Steve’s call and he was right 100% right we did not want to play into his games.” 

“Ok, ok” I nod and put on my ‘I am ok mask’ and looked then square in the face “So here is what I need from you guys long term, and what I want from you two right now.” I take a deep breath fighting the urge to flee from Ben. “First off never ever play into the hands of a mad man. Not ever. I don’t care if he is going to light me on fire and throw me off Avengers tower! We agreed! If we needed saving it was together or not at all. I expect that from you both, and if it happens again will call it a breach of contract!” Ya that was hard to say, Fuck Bucky’s face looks like I just kicked him in the balls. I should have it would have been easier! “Nope! No dumb faces. I mean it we agreed long ago we are equals when it comes to saving each other. Please I need to know my wishes will be honored” I look back to them. My mind tells me my boy and Ben, I know better I KNOW better. I need to see their faces andI need to be home and with them to fix this.

“I promise Tony” I hear Steve say and Bucky just looks at him slack jawed and then back to me.

“Not going to happen Doll face sorry” He finally settles back into his own mask. I know this one well “My past My call. Same thing as the all for one thing it’s in the details of mine and Steve’s contract. I get to make the final call on how I handle my past.” I sigh I knew he would do this too.

“James please I need to know you won’t put yourself in harm’s way over me. Give me that, I don’t like you blew Steve for Ben and his bag of cats crazy mind. I need to know you won’t hurt yourself to save me. It would not have helped me any if you were hurt and could not save me. I would have had to rely on capsicle. You know how he is when he frets over us!” I don’t want to have this fight now. 

“I do it for strangers all the time. You are something I can’t live with out now. Sorry Babe I won’t make that promise. I can’t keep it. It was my past and it was my call. Steve did what he could to mitigate my level of stupid, but that’s all I can do. It will have to be enough Tony.” Fucking fucker! God Damn son of a donkey! I give him ‘the fuck you this is not over’ glare and he just stares back at me with his ‘I don’t give two fucks, I am the winter soldier and will out wait your ass’ look. 

“Fine! Just.. Fine.” I take another deep breath. “ Moving on, I need you two to understand I won’t want sex for a while not to say I won’t want to be touched or played with Its not a lack of desire thing. I just want to work on relearning myself and learning to trust Steve without the drugs. I know I will need to be under every few days, and Steve will be doing that for me. No I am not going to strangers or stand ins. I don’t care what Cho or the other doctors say. I just us three working it out. The good bad and ugly” And there is Steve’s kicked puppy look!   
Wait! That is Steve…. I know his face!! “Steve?” His face changes and its gone! “No do it again…make that face!! The one where you look like I just kicked your dog or something!” the lost look on his face does not do it. There is something about that one dejected face he makes, and I see Steve in it. Fuck could other faces he makes do it? He looks to Bucky then back to me still so lost. “Never mind when we get home I want to try something, but it can wait.” He is still confused so I try to explain in small words. “I'm getting grumpy and its taking a lot out of me to not panic about you being here; if I am being honest with you guys. When I said I can’t Fuck right now you looked sad, your face does a thing when your sad. It’s a particular face and I knew you in that moment. You were Steve my Steve. I am sorry you were sad but it just clicked. You stopped making the face and I lost it.”   
He lights up like Christmas and I see hope flow across him as he Smiles. “Ya Ya its hope, but ok now for what I need right now, well when we get home, and I get a fucking bath and clean up. Today after I stop smelling like a lab rat. I want you to tie me down, I want to be immobile rope or belt bondage should do it, legs arms and chest. I also want to be blindfolded.” They both seemed shocked and both are shaking their head. “Oh for fuck sake hear me out. I know I hate them, but I want to hear you take Winter apart. I want to hear my lovers and feel them in the same room as me. I know Bucky is not meeting his own needs and I don’t want my panic to end the night. I can deal with the blindfold more than I can seeing “Ben” fucking Bucky, or what the fuck ever my brain chooses to do with that mental image. I need to feel safe and I know your sounds; both of your sounds. I'm hoping it will settle me and help me clear my head.” 

“I'm not sure this is a clever idea Tony. You panic at blindfolds. Me putting one on you like this is dangerous. You know he put one on you right?” Steve is saying calmly and leans toward me. I fight the want to flinch away. I thought I was good but he pulls back like I burned him. I smile a weak smile and look down at the floor. 

“We could medicate him with Cho’s stuff. He would know you and the bindings would keep him level. Our scene together might even take him under a bit.” I nod God I love that man I want to fuck his brains out and not in a sub way but really just pound him till his brain falls out his ears. “I know I love it when Tony watches us, well listens, is just as good for him. I trust him to tell us he is ok Sir if he says he needs this let’s give it to him?” Steve nods. Bucky’s plan may work. 

“We have to start somewhere. I'm an all in kinda guy Steve you know that.” I smirk and lean in to his space to kiss his forehead. “My head my not know your face but my heart will always know your hearts.” He hums into my soft kiss and I pull back, a bit too quickly, but he does not follow me just watches me wince. 

Bucky stands up and steps behind me; wraps his arms around me and kisses the top of my head. “Lets get you home huh baby boy” I nod and fall back into him. Steve reaches out to pat our hands where they are clasped around my hips and I close my eyes to feel it even if I can’t stomach to watch it.  
“Please Sir Take me home” I keep my eyes closed and rub his hand with my thumb.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh I hope you all enjoyed this chap. I promise some lovely bondage and other adult fun to come. Please remember I love the comments and Kudos. Its the wood in my campfire! Please tell me what you think and what you may want to see.


	4. The lying liar who lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The car ride home was hard, I was in the front seat Bucky was driving, and if the was the oddest thing about the ride I would have been ok. However, you know my lot and easy is not it. Steve is normally the driver when we go places. He likes the control, but he just sat in the back seat quiet and unmoving. I could not see him but I knew he was chewing something over in his mind. “If you tell me what you’re thinking about maybe I can help?” I ask after 10 minutes of this awkward Bullshit. He says nothing just sits and looks out the window. I want to punch in his perfect teeth. I huff at his not talking to me. I'm not surprised just kinda over this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoy this I would like to say thank you for the comments and Kudos you have all been so positive and I can not be grateful enough. I hope you enjoy

The car ride home was hard, I was in the front seat Bucky was driving, and if the was the oddest thing about the ride I would have been ok. However, you know my lot and easy is not it. Steve is normally the driver when we go places. He likes the control, but he just sat in the back seat quiet and unmoving. I could not see him but I knew he was chewing something over in his mind. “If you tell me what you’re thinking about maybe I can help?” I ask after 10 minutes of this awkward Bullshit. He says nothing just sits and looks out the window. I want to punch in his perfect teeth. I huff at his not talking to me. I'm not surprised just kinda over this.

“I can’t, Tony I don’t even know what it is yet.” He is quiet. “I want to get you home and clean and safe that is all that matters to me.” I feel his hands move it startles me, but I know it’s just the hyper awareness. It happens after a trauma, the doctors told me it will be around a while and not let it get to me. “Can you answer me a question?” He asks quietly almost a soft whisper.

“Sure, capsicle anything!” I try to be casual but from the snort from the driver’s seat tells me I miss the mark by a whole planet! I miss smooth tony sometimes before these two turned me in to a caring human being. Ass holes!

“If we can’t reverse what’s happening,” He pauses “will you leave, or ask us to leave the tower?”

I am gasp and see red and want the throw the moron out of the moving car. What the holy fuck is he saying leave! Bucky almost hit the car ahead of him as he whiplashed around to glare at Steve. I wheeze and choke the panic is crawling up my chest and squeezing the air out of me. He means to leave me if I’m not able to get better. I hear him ask me if I want this, but I know it’s not my wants he is asking about it’s his. He can’t deal with this again. I sub so broken they don’t know him. “Steve what the Fuck?!” James hisses out.

I can’t even get words out. Leave? Where the fuck would I go the tower is our home! When my throat unlocks from the rage. Nope no fucking way we will beat this. How dare he pull this shit now. I spin around to look at him too. “I am not going anywhere. Ben is NOT taking this form me or from us. That’s what he wanted! Take me from Bucky just like what was taken from him?” I get why he is asking but I am so mad. 

“There is still the issue of Bucky not agreeing to keep himself safe when I am in danger and other things we will need to work out but I don’t want to lose you.” I take a deep breath, and open my eyes. I am not sure when I closed them and its Ben! Ben is in the back seat! I can’t look Its setting in the panic. I look away. It’s not Ben he is dead. That is Steve who just said something dumb as the day is long. I need to hear him. “Say something Steve please! Anything I just need to hear you! Argue with me tell me I’m wrong and you can’t do this again. Just talk to me.”

He reaches out to me after I turn back around in the seat, and runs his hands down my arms and talks me though the panic attack. “It’s ok Tony I'm here it’s over. We are in the car headed home. Me and you and Bucky. Remember? You wanted to get home to a hot bath and watch me take Bucky apart! You missed your lab like you told Bucky in the hospital and the Bots.”

My breathing slows down it’s not a full-blown attack but fuck my chest hurts. “I'm going to need Cho’s medication to watch you do that. I'm sorry Steve this is not your fault, and it’s not fair to you to have to deal with it again. I know how hard Bucky not knowing you was.” I slide back into my role quick after that. I’m ok we are ok it’s going to be ok.

“I am your Dom Tony, and fair is not in our line of work. I don’t care who’s fault it is; don’t ever be sorry about this please you did not do anything wrong.” He keeps his face buried in the back of my car seat as he rubs my arms and shoulders softly. I relax into a quiet state as we finish the car ride. I want to believe him, but I know better. He saw me fuck and suck another Dom off. He won’t want me for long he told me once my past was hard to deal with, and that was before he saw it happen. However, I am a selfish person at heart and I want them now, and I will keep this as long as I can have it. 

We get back to the tower around 5 pm, and head right for the penthouse. It smells stale and everything is just as I left it. Clothes I had tossed off that morning still on the bed. I am guess it was almost unused after the event. The Boys have not slept here since that night. “Where were you guys staying? No one has been here in a while.” I ask as Buck brings in the bags from the hospital. 

“Steve’s floor.” He drops them near the dresser “It was not right to be here without you.” He pulls me in for a deep kiss its hungry and full of promise. I am not ready for sex but I enjoy the feeling of being wanted. Bucky wraps his arms around me when I hear the door open. I want to pull away and see who is coming in. Bucky pulls back a bit and says “No just look at me baby. Its ok I got you. It’s just Steve.” I do what he asks and then lean into the warmth behind me. Another set of arms wrap around my waist and a warm breath blows into my hair.

“I missed holding you Tony. I want to never let go.” Oh, Steve’s voice sends a shiver down my spine. I want to turn and kiss him but I know better. “I love seeing you two together. It’s still one of the hottest things I am lucky enough to get in this lifetime.” I kiss Bucky again with that passion, and damned if I don’t get a bit of wood. My bodies not dead thank god, I would kill myself if my pecker stopped working. I feel warm lips on my shoulder and I am grateful He is never really soft or loving with me when he is needy and I can feel the tension in his body. It has been a while for him, for both of them.

“Ya ya you two, I need to get this one in a bath and you have a room to set up Sir.” Its James speaking. “Any requests?” He looks down at me. I’m still enjoying Steve's hands on me. Not in a sex please fuck me way but in a hold me, keep me safe and love me kind of way. 

“I want to be laid out like you would have before. On the rug, use the soft rope please sir. I want my collar back” I snap my jaw shut as quick as the demand falls out. That’s not my choice to have or even wear my collar. Its Steve’s to offer and it has been off since that day he never gave it back. Fuck I fucked up and he stopped moving or kissing me. Damn it he’s mad who can blame him. I went too far in my asking. Then it dawns on me I don’t fucking know where my collar is. The fear sets in did he take it from me after what happened? Did I lose it? 

“Sir I don’t even know where it went, and don’t remember taking it off.” I want to play it off but I just pull away from them and shake my head loose. Show them its ok, play it cool; how many times have you had to do this for others “and you did ask for requests!”

I look to Bucky he is wearing his, and his cage. I could feel it as we kissed. I step a few more steps away and smile. It halfhearted but it’s there. “I'm going to get the bath started. See you in a few Bucky?” I don’t look up to Steve’s face I just turn and head out like this is no big deal, like every day without it has not been hell. I’m not worthy of it anyway and that’s why he never gave it back. No, calm down Steve said we would get through this together! He means to keep me Bucky does too.

“I’ll be right in.” Bucky says as I almost run to the bathroom and shut the door. 

“Jarvis?” 

“Yes Sir” He is calm and his voice is so helpful it home and safe like Pepper or Happy.

“Did you save the video of the club on the night of my attack? The security feeds?” I am shaking but I have to know what happened and fuck if I am going to wait to remember it slowly.

“Yes, sir I have a backup, Captain has asked I not show you the footage though.” Traitor I think.  
“Jarvis. Do I need to remind you that I built you and can take you apart and make you an AI for a kindergarten in some backwater nation?” I grin wildly I know he can see me though the cameras.

“No sir when would you like to review it?” He sounds smug.

“Later after I am in the workshop and don’t tell them I am doing it or I will make you a Toaster!” I hear them talking and start my task its nice to have some alone time. “Start the bath for me dear. You know how I like it”

“As you wish sir, and I doubt you would make me a toaster sir, but I am glad you are home!” I believe him.

“Me Too J, Me too.” I take off the shirt first, the scars are the first thing I see. They are new, and I run my hand down the ones on my collar bone. There are 4 crisp cuts that are now just pink ugly scars. I feel the blade on my peck as I run my finger over it. There is a flash and I see Steve cut into Bucky’s forearm. There is blood flowing from him. He is standing naked on the screen. 

“Sir? Please make him stop!” there is another cut near my throat. The first scream was like a flood I could not stop it. “Why won’t you stop him Steve Bucky please! help me!” 

There is a flash of pain and more pleading. My mind recalls how they help but another flash slams into me.

See not so hard.” He turns away from me to watch the screen. “Left collar bone.” Another slice to Bucky’s skin.” Right forearm. Deep” Another cut. James gasps.

I'm on the floor shaking when I hear voices over me I blink up in to Bucky’s blue eyes my eyes are wide and angry. I know he sees what I am staring at, I growl “Show me your right arm Bucky. If you lie to me again we are done. All of us. I trusted you and you lied now Show me!” I am shaking at the memory that they cut on him to save me. 

He stares at the floor but takes off his shirt and I see the scars he has. They match the flash back.

“You fucking said it was only a Blow Job! You said you did not give in anymore! James, you fucking lied to me! You think I would not find out?! Where is he?” I go to get up I was screaming at him and kicking up a fit, and now feel woozy. “I'm going to kick Steve’s self-righteous lying ass right alongside yours James Barnes!”

“Anthony!” I hear the Dom in his voice now. That is dirty pool and he knows it “There are things we didn’t want to overload you with. We intend to show you the feed when you are better equipped to deal with it. You’re not ok to do it now. Sit down!” My Body complies. I glare at him. Fuck him!

“I want your word right now this never ever happens again, and I want the contracts amended. This will NEVER happen again. James Barnes, I will call a breech right now and walk out so help me God I will if you don’t promise me!” I am furious at this point. “I will make you both pay for lying to me about this too you know I can!” I am just running at the mouth I am madder at myself than them “If this happens again just fucking Swear to me that was the last time.” I can see his eyes go cold. He can’t promise and I know it, but I am just so mad at him, and at Steve. I am even more mad at the fact this happened at all. I was weaker than them. It was my weakness made Ben chose to go after me, and that drove them to hurt Bucky to save me. I am not sure why they lied to me, if they thought it was to protect me they are dumb asses.

“I can’t Tony promise that is; please this is my free will, please don’t make me promise.” He is mad at me for pushing and for trying to force him. It softens my face. I don’t want to push him into this but I need to know he is safe. He gathers me into his lap “It would be another lie Tony, and even if you did leave I would still do it again if it were to come down to it.” He is crying a bit but pulls his emotions up fast. Looks me dead in the eyes. “I love you Tony and trust you with everything that is important in my life. With Steve, and yourself do you understand what that means? I trust you are keeping us safe, and taken care of. I trust you to pull me up when I slip into soldier mode, when I hurt Steve with my words and my insecurities. The list of people in this world I trust when I am sleeping, enough to stay asleep, starts with Steve and ends with you. Forgive me please I should not have hidden from you what we did. It was my call to make this time. I will try to let Steve keep me from doing too much in the way of stupid but it’s all I can do.”

I sigh I am mad but I don’t have the strength to deal with this. “I am still pissed beyond words terminator but I can try to forgive you just give me some time.” I need to trust him “Will you watch the feed with me? and is there anything else I should know more fucking surprises I need be aware of. or can I get into a hot bath and let this day fucking end?”

“I am sure there are a lot of surprises in that vid feed but none we mislead you on.” He lifts me to my feet and helps me out of my pants.   
“I’m still mad”. There are scars on my arms and ribs where I was cut more than I saw before, and then it dawns on me. The cuts to my insides. I spin fast and look. I don’t see anything. Ya I know I am not likely to see them but one of my worst fears is I am too damaged to be useful to my guys.

“How healed am I there? Is there scars?” I ask looking at my ass. It was tender falling on the floor but I am not in pain.

“Doc said there will not be any lasting damage, but to be careful with you for a few weeks. The insta-stich of Cho’s helped but it’s still fresh skin and weaker” He is quiet almost cowed. “I would rule out a good fucking for a while to be safe, but he did say a small plug would not hurt you. The prostate is not damaged”

He lifts me bridle style and leans in to kiss me. I let him “I do love you and so does Steve. I am sorry we did not tell you everything, and there is no excuse for it. I Just I did not want you to worry about me I healed so fast; I forgot about it the moment after we found you bleeding.” I nod and kiss him back. My body is reacting to his touch I sigh. He cocks an eyebrow. “Steve said I could take care of you while we got you clean.” I grin but shake my head.

“Just want a hot bath and some time for myself Buck is that ok?” His turn to nod. He sets me in the water and kneels on the side of the tub. The Bath is hot and smells of brow sugar vanilla I hear the door open and I snap my eyes open. I did not even realize I closed them. Its Steve he is in black jeans and t shirt. I tense at first but close my eyes again I don’t want to see him just now. Bucky is between us I am safe. “I am going down to the gym for a bit; have Jarvis get me when you are ready pet.” I smile at his voice, warm safe voice, and force myself to open my eyes and nod. 

Bucky sits with me for a while not talking just sitting on the side of the tub reading one of our many many books. I float in the tub the sound of his breathing, the turning of the pages all comforting. I dip back into memories, pleasant ones. Him being bent over that bench being milked and begging to stop. He was on punishment that day, we both were. I snort. Seems to be the way with us, I think we like sir being hard on us. Last month when we got new floggers and he wore out his arm before he wore both of us out. I was covered in jiz and sweat and I was black and blue. I am hard now I can feel the blood running to my dick. I open an eye to see Bucky reading but he smiles seeming to take no notice of my body. “Can you get Sir? I think I am ready.” I look down at my dick he smiles and nods. Stands in one fluid motion and heads for the door. He stops on a dime, turns around, takes two large steps to the tub and leans in for a long filthy kiss, winks at me. Then leaves.

I sigh, take myself in hand to take the edge off my body as fast as I can then rinse off and head to the bedroom. I take note that some of our toys are out, as well as a pair of goggles that seem to wrap around the head and both of our cages. There are quite a few coils of rope and a small silver tray holding my medication. I want to try this without it, but I am not dumb enough to think that will be today.

I hear the door open and see Bucky come alone. “Sir is getting a quick shower. He wanted me to talk to you before we start. Tony, we don’t have to jump into this, there are ways to get what we need as subs without risk to you. Are you sure this is what you want?” 

I smile at him “I want my fucking life back James. I can do this and if I can’t I know both of you will keep me safe. I am not in any danger. Logically I know that.”

“Ok sugar then I have a plan that might be easier than blindfolds, and it will feel different.” He nods to the goggles. “They are modified from my old ones I wore as the soldier. They are full proof will not come off , but we can flip them open remotely giving you your sight back quickly if need be. They will also not feel like a blindfold. They are more like welding goggles.”

I smile at him. “I sometimes think you are the genius in this relationship.” I nod. 

“On your knees Pet.” I sink slowly at his command. He knows I am hearing him as a Dom I have to comply. “Are you ready?” I lower my head to expose the nape of my neck where the meds will go.

“Yes James” I don’t want to call him Winter as that is what he is when he is subbing, but he is not Bucky like this either. The sharp prick of the needle and then the fire. I scream out I don’t have to hide this from them. It hurts. “FUCK!!”

I hear the door open as I start to shake. I know its going to be Ben its always Ben! I can’t escape him. “No Pet that is Sir look at him!” I keep my eyes locked on the man walking to us. “Tell me what you see!” I stutter and shake, its Ben I see Ben. 

“Sir!” I lie have to lie they will stop if I don’t. I will see him soon it just is taking longer for the meds to kick in. Ben is dead rationally I know this god damn it that is my sir. I grit my teeth and say louder more to myself than to them. “I see Steve Rogers! Avenger! Lover. Safety. My Sir!” But he reaches for me and I fuck up. I jerk away. I lean into winter and feel the tears peek in my eyes. 

“Your Lying Pet” He says to me. I lower my head maybe now he knows how it feels!

“Yes, sorry but I know it’s you. I do. I must do this sir. Please. I need to be stronger than this.” I look back up as I feel sick. I see the disappointment; I disappointed him. He will reject me I know it. He has strong Bucky who is finally whole again. They don’t need me especially now I am even more broken. I convulse. 

“I am going to punish you for lying later. I am keeping a running tally when you are well enough you will regret lying to me.” He reaches for the googles. He has no fucking room to talk about lying, but I will deal with that later, the drop is setting in fast I look up at him. I know what he sees, and I can’t help it I'm afraid of hurting again. I am worried I did something wrong. Fucking Biology my mind is stronger than this!! I see Steve’s face finally.

“I see you now Sir. Your real face. I’m sorry for lying before, but the drop its coming on faster this time. Just please…” I pause I don’t want it to come out like an order, I'm his I don’t order him around. “don’t reject me; just understand please” This time I don’t move from his hand as he runs it though my hair. He sets the googles back down.

“That will never happen pet you are mine, ours, and I am never letting you go again. No one will have you or touch you ever again. I promise that.” I feel pulled in and safer but it wont last. “Keel up and look up for me.” I do as I am told. “I am going to put the googles on and then start the tie, I am doing a chest harness, and pinning your arms to your sides. I want your hands free I know he cuffed you so I want to avoid that. I want to know you can clap/snap out if you find you can’t talk. I am then going to tie your legs, bent at the knees to your thighs. I am going to spread you out wide. If you are still lucid I will remove the googles and let you watch what I am doing to Winter. We are going to put your cage back on before we start. If you need to stop for any reason if it is too much or you need more. You will tell me or Winter right away. There is no punishment for these scenes once we start; this is just letting you feel safe and home. Am I clear?”

“Yes sir” I smile at him. I let the enjoyment of his strong sound wash-down over me. He is keeping me. I am not going anywhere.

“I have one more thing for you.” From his pocket, he pulls my collar. The one that matches James’ “I want you to have it. But If..”

I bow my head and smile showing teeth and almost bouncing with energy. “I want it now!” I watch him smile just as bright. I did that, motherfucker, I made him smile. Let doves sing and angels weep and all that bullshit Steve is smiling at me and my neediness. I want this to stay this way always and so help me I am going to make that happen. 

“OK pet ok!” He fastens it around my neck checking it is not too tight and l look to him and Bucky beaming. Shaking too and from to show it off. 

“Perfect!” they say in unison….

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this and the next chap. At the same time. I hope you loved this remember to feed the author. We live for the comments and Kudos!   
> I think this story is coming to an end i have one more chapter after next planned then who knows where we will take the Boys after!
> 
> Come say hello on tumbler: shalandrial.tumblr.com/


	5. Better late than never!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Sir Winter is always watching out for me.” The whole of the scene clicks into place for me. Its more that a moment. Sirs face never becomes Ben’s again. “Please sir don’t stop Harder fuck his ass harder.” I wrap my fingers around James cock again and he comes right on the spot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be more to this series! I hope you enjoy the smut here. I have no Beta so the mistakes are mine!

Same Night  
“Winter is going to keep an eye on you as I tie you down Pet. I said I was going put the goggles on first but I think I am going to wait. If you are really seeing me then I want you to have that memory to call on if you need it later. Ok?” I agree  
While I am kneeled up I hear the jingle of the cage as winter hands it to Sir. “Ready pet?” I push my hips out and grin at them again. I'm so happy this is normal, we have done this so many times. Steve locks me into my cock cage but it feels odd. I look quizzically at it then to him and pout, yes, I am a grown ass man but again this is something different and I don’t like it. “Yes, I'm sorry pet it’s not your normal cage. I had to get you a new one last week.” I shake my head I don’t want new! “Honey your body is healing, and the Doctors warned heavy jewelry could cause tears inside. This is temporary, I can take it off if oyu want me too or is it uncomfortable?” I wiggle a bit, it’s not really uncomfortable but the weight is off. My face scrunches up it’s not mine.  
“No sir its just not mine. It feels odd.” His turn to nod. “I understand there are limits to my healing, but maybe later, when we are sleeping, you can put mine on me?” he looks to Winter then back to me schooling his face. Worry crossed it for a moment. “Tell me what that look was for sir”  
“I am not sleeping in here Pet…” he trailed off and I appear lost; we always sleep in the same bed, and have for most of the year. “We will talk about it after. Let’s see how this goes and we can reassess.” I feel nauseas but fight to keep control I know it’s the drugs. I’ll be good god damned if I let them sleep elsewhere.  
“Yes sir, I want you with us so we are clear, in case I am not verbal later. I will always want you near to me.” His turn to nod. “it is not my bed unless you are both in it”

“I know Tony now hands up so I can start the harness tie and no more talking. M’ not wanting to gag you tonight so please don’t make it an issue.” I bring my hands up and lock eyes with winter. I feel the first touch of the rope to my skin and it is like Christmas and my Birthday all at one time. I smile at him and he winks at me and I descend in to my own mind. I relish the rope as it snakes over my chest and Sir’s warm hands smoothing it over my ribs. I sink farther knowing it is safe Sir and winter have me. Sir kisses my shoulders and arms, the top of my head and everywhere he can reach as He loops and pulls, and I am in heaven, I let the feeling zone me out. I don’t have to be here mentally I can relax and be cared for there is no past just the feeling of my body. “He is humming!” I hear Sir say to Winter. Its far off and I don’t respond I don’t have too.

“When is the last time he did it Sir?” I only hum when I am overly happy, and too far under to think not to. It’s a repetitive noise made without conscience thought. I had closed my eyes but open them at them talking. I don’t even hear the noise they are talking about and Sir’s hands never stop moving.

“The morning before your show at the club, I was balls deep in him and he was just as deep in you. He was near cumming and I kept denying him.” I look at Winter and smile, I go back to that memory. Oh fuck that was a hot morning. We spent most of it in our play room. I stop humming the moment I realize I can hear the sound. Fuck, I did not mean to make noises. Sir said no more talking, so I get quiet again. I see Winter’s face he looks disappointed. Why is he upset? “Its ok Pet you can hum if you like. I said no talking. Remember we agreed long ago moans, hums and other noises of pleasure are ok, unless you are told to be silent.” I smile but look to our other sub for reassurance he is ok. He rolls his eyes at me and nods. Smiling back at me. I love we still don’t need words to get shit across to each other. He was upset I stopped as well.

Sir finishes the harness and I realize my hands are tied into it. He tugs the ropes making sure there is no circulation issues, no awkward pressure points. Sir is by no means an expert but he learned ropes for me. Mary and Christ I love his mind, and his body but who the fuck doesn’t. Hell I know strait people who would fuck him just to say they got to touch it. Once he has put his mind to something he will keep at it until he gets it. The rope bondage was a way to let me calm down after a bad day. It took him months to get the basics. He does not do intricate patterns like some of the masters can do, but he knows how to make a person feel safe and held in them. 

“Pet how does it feel?” I hum a bit take in my body, and the position I am in. It is soo good I’m at a loss for words. Ya ya I know me Tony Stark at a loss for words. I look over to our other sub I grin wide and sag into the ropes letting them hold me. Winter is pleased with me; he looks a bit distant but smiling none the less. He just needs to get closer.

“Perfect sir, safe. Can I have a kiss from Winter he looks so alone over there?” Winter gets up off the floor where he was sitting and comes near to us. I want us all to find some comfort in this, some normalcy. He has spotted for me and Sir before when we are doing new things but he tends to keep a safe distance make sure he does not get distracted from his duty to protect us. A kiss is not outside of the role he is in right now. 

“Yes pet you are doing so well. He can kiss you; just don’t take it too far. This is not what tonight is about for you.” Winter steps into the splay of my legs and helps Sir lay me down on my side for the leg ties. He kneels over my chest and kisses me. It’s a sweet soft if a bit hurried kiss. I moan a bit into it before he pulls back.

“You look amazing baby. So good for him, do you know how much we missed you?” He is cooing at me as Sir slowly pulls the ropes around my legs. “He ain’t smiled in two weeks, paces rooms cant focus. We are going to need to get new gym bags he broke them all. I have been moody and cold hard to comfort. You make us whole Baby. You keep him centered and me together. We love you so much.” He runs his hands over my hair, down my rope covered arms.  
I glace up at Steve and jerk hard to get away. Fuck No its too soon. Please not yet but I saw Ben for a split second. He looks down at me. I blink a few times trying to get him to be Sir again. I feel the tears well up and can’t help but pull back again. Sir rights my legs back into position. “Winter quick cover his eyes” he is calm but curt. I close them fast, Sir keeps talking to me. “Good boy! Pet keep them closed and listen to my voice. You are ok, your safe here in the tower with me and Winter and Jarvis. Winter is going to slip the goggles on you to protect your eyes. Are you ok?”

I nod quickly to respond and feel him continue the ropes. I'm glad he did not stop or jump away. He just kept talking about anything that came to his mind. How good we are and how he can’t wait to get back inside me. How he misses my mouth on his body. Anything to keep me here in this moment, and when I feel the googles slide down my face and I open my eyes it is all darkness. I feel Winter shift back to rest my head on his lap. He is petting me again. I am safe again. These are MY boys and they would never hurt me. I enjoy the feeling of the ropes again as my heart rate settles. Sir keeps talking to me about what he is going to do to Winter and I start humming again as Sirs words drive me under. 

Who the fuck knows how much longer I am floating there I hear Sir move. “Pet I am done how do you feel?” 

“hmmm. Good Sirr” I am slurring a bit but I have not felt this safe in weeks. “Are you going to take Winter now like you said?”

“We are going to get you up to kneeling then ya I am going to fuck our boy stupid I think he has earned it. Don’t you?” I know I have a dopy smile on my face. I half nod have roll my head.

“Are you going to… mmm” Fuck the thought of spanking makes me want to get hard! My dick bobs a bit  
“spank him?” I ask and wiggle my ass into the floor. I feel the pair of hands wiggle under my arms to lift me to a kneeling position. Sir has left the ropes away from my keens to allow me some comfort in this position.

“Maybe, but I am going to make him choke on my dick right here not a foot from your face. Would you like that pet?” I hum again. Letting out a soft moan. I want to see it but I know better I would ruin this if I freak out. 

“I want that sir. I want to hear every noise he makes for you.” I look to where Winter was.

“Good now sit there quietly and enjoy it pet?” I don’t respond just lift my head up to the two men and lull my head to one side. There is a quick kiss from Sir. Ya I fucking know who is who even blindfolded. Sir kisses with a soft but passionate side. There is no rush or hurry to it. Winter’s kiss is full of a brutality and possessiveness. He is almost rushed no matter how long we have to enjoy the kiss, like at any moment he will be taken from us.

“On your knees Winter!” I feel the thud of him dropping like he was thrown down. “Ya right there I want you to press your feet against pets knees. I want to let him feel each time I shove this huge cock into your throat.” There is some shifting as I feel James cold feet just bush my knees; he wiggles his toes under my knees a bit.

“That’s perfect. Here is how this is goin’ go. I am going to fuck that perfect mouth. Fuck and it is so pretty you lips swollen from kisses with Pet. You are going to be good and loud. I want to hear you choke and gag. I want you to moan and beg. Let Pet hear you remind him of your place and his. Got that Winter?”

“Yes Sir Please.” is all I hear from Winter as his feet are rocked into my knees for the first time. He starts moaning and I eat up sounds of licking, sucking and finally gaging. It is an open-mouthed gag he is not choking on it yet. “God Baby you were always so good with your mouth. So hot. I could watch you do this all day. That’s it suck on the head a bit. Oh oh ya fuck Winter, baby ohh fuck just … perfect.. ahh . Pet can you hear this. You know what this looks like don’t you.” I nod I have seen Winter spend hours doing just that. Choking down load after load of our cum till he is soaked in it and still wanting more. “Our perfect boy sucking your cock. His eyes are glassing over already. That’s it slut take it in all the way back choke on it.” I hear the first choking sounds and it throws me. Fuck no not this I am not going to do this now.

The sounds he is making are hard to hear, James is gaging and slurping and teasing. ‘Don’t tease! Winter don’t he will hurt you’. No wait. That is Steve’s voice. Sir won’t punish James; Sir loves it this way playful and a bit of a tease. I am shaking and my voice won’t come out. I need… hellp “ Ssiirr Yell..” I can’t form words. Damn it. I am Iron Man I can do this. Warn them to slow down. I need to see this. The noise does not stop. Gurggling and moaning. The most decadent moaning. I refocus on that I was not moaning for Ben no one was. There was no pleasure to be had. Even he just grunted. It’s not enough to keep me here. I feel the collar at my throat. It will tighten I know it will. I try to shake it off.

“That’s it Winter perfect. Almost fuck so close.” There is a violent jerk in winters feet. “There swallow around me baby. God your throat is so soft. Don’t pull off me come on you have this I’ll let you up in a second. You have held on longer. Look at me.“ He is not breathing, sir has his airways choked off. I can’t hear this it me I’m in the room again. I hear Ben telling me Breathing is only for good boys.  
“Yellow!” I finally get my voice, not for me but James he needs air, he can’t breathe. I hear the gasp as Sir is pulling out of James mouth. “Don’t please don’t choke him let him breath. Please!” I am sobbing now. “He’ll be good just please! Let him breath!”

Its James who has me first. “It’s ok I'm ok sugar, relax I was ok, I was enjoyin’ it. You know me baby I would have ended him if I wasn’t, even Stevie. Its ok. I'm sorry it upset you.” I feel sir behind me pulling me into his arms. “He’s got you. You’re ok we can stop.” Tears roll past the edge of the googles.

“No, just need a minuet. Yellow … not red” I am shaking a bit. 

“Ok Pet whatever you need. Its ok” He has pressed into my front and our jewelry clanks together which causes me to almost giggle. Sir is still stoking my chest and arms. “Can you tell us what happened?”

“The thought that he was not going to let you breathe. I knew. I know we like it hell I love it, But HE did that to me. I felt the collar biting into you. Like it was happening to you and I could not stop it. Ben told me there was no slowing down or stopping. I had to make sure you were ok.” I let all the words rush out fast and unfiltered. 

“You know we will always slow or stop when someone needs it. You did good telling us” Sir says “it is exactly what a sub is supposed to do when they are in any kind of duress. Are you ok, do you need anything.” I was sandwiched between my Boys I could not think of a thing in this world I needed more than to be right here. Well one thing.

“Can you finish the scene? I want to hear you both happy. I'm good now.” I lean into where I hope Winter’s face is. “Tell me your ok and I will believe you” I kiss his lip awkwardly but he turns so our mouths line up it’s a fast-chaste kiss.

“Pet I love it when our Sir is buried so deep in my throat I can feel him in my neck. I want to feel him coat my throat with his spunk and cry for him as I do. I want to feel him lose his shit as I swallow him down. I love having that power over him.” He is right subs have all the power like this. It’s our trust that lets this happen. There is a pressure pulled from my head like a thorn that is dislodged and I feel myself thrumming with pleasure. 

“Fuck Sir please give it to him!” I am giddy with it. “just like he asked “but lay him against me his whole back to my front I want to feel it all. Please Sir please!”  
“OH god! Ya sugar” He kisses my neck a bit “We are going to have to move you to brace you up” they lift me and I am set gently onto the bed against the head board. My back and feet are braced as Winter is laying back into the V of my body.

“That is so God Damn perfect.” I hear a click and then another as Sir climbs onto the bed. “I had to keep this moment you two are so amazing. Winter open your mouth wide and let me fuck it. Be good for me.” Winter leans his head back onto my shoulder and I feel Sir’s legs bracketing us, I smell him close to me and I’ll be good and fucked if my mouth does not water and my lips part as if he was going to be fucking my face. “I see what you’re doing Pet. Don’t worry you can have it soon enough just enjoy the show” 

I enjoy the feeling of Winter’s neck and shoulders moving in time with Sir’s thrusts. Sir’s hands wrapping into James’ long hair. “There’s a good Boy just take it for me. Relax that throat and let me have this. So God damn tight.” Winter’s chest has stopped expanding I know he is not breathing. I rock in time with them and feel Winter’s hands on my thighs, he is stroking me softly. I hum into his ear a soft reassuring hum. I'm happy here.

“Aww Pet that’s a good boy. Oh darlin’ so good for us.” I feel the rumble of his moan as he makes it and kiss at James’ shoulder. “James you are so amazing that’s it keep moving your tongue and swallow. Oh there ya just like that. Fuck Baby so good” Sir lets go of James’ left side and his hand is stoking Winter’s neck. “James I'm going to fill all this up” Rubbing his neck and throat “and you’re going to be a good Sub and swallow it all… Now!” there are a few violent jabs and I hear skin slapping for a moment then the powerful legs on either side of us are stock still then shaking. I sense his release and Winter is almost purring with it. “Fuck! Oh fuckk ya take it come one James keep swallowing. That’s it…. oh god” Sir says as he lets go. He is standing there for a long few seconds and then moves back away from us.

“Kiss me” I ask softly as James head lulls back onto my clavicle, and does. I taste Sir on his lips and this kiss is slow. It’s slow and sloppy the kind of rare kiss he gives when he does not realize he is giving it. When he is happy and under for Sir and free of all he stresses he carries. 

“Thank you, Sir,” he says after 

“Thank you, James.” Sir moves away from us off the bed and I hear a door open. I can’t see anything but I have Winter covering ninety percent of my body and could give a good god damn less. 

“I will never know how that skinny kid all elbow and knees got this lucky but I am grateful.” Its sirs voice. He kisses me softly and then Winter. I can hear the kiss all moans and smiles. “Pet how are you doing?”  
“I'm good. I feel right.” I wish I could hold James but another time. “I have a request to make when we have all come up.“

“Good and Winter where are you baby?” I hear a soft Hmm? From the man on my chest. He is not ready to be up. “I think that is Bucky speak for good too don’t you think Tony?” The use of our proper names is normally a way Steve helps bring us back up. 

“Sir I need something from you but I am not wanting it until James is up fully” I need us to stay in the right mind set. “Can you take off the googles or deglaze them when James is clear and we are between set ups. Cause I know he is not done and you just barely had one go that won’t even take the edge off.” 

I can hear the huff in Sir’s breath and I feel James start to stir on top of me. He is coming up. “Nope.” Is all I hear from James as he rolls over and wraps his arms around me.

“James!” I squeak as he kisses a nipple. 

“Pet we are not going to push this recovery. We have time. Its ok.” He keeps licking and nibbling. I know what that fucker is doing. Its not going to work.

“James if I am tied in Sir’s bounds and you have… Gahhh stop that!” I whine at him. “You have the remote to the goggles. Come one cut it out damn it! I am sure it will be ok. Some push is good for me. I am not going to live forever, and I would like to get back to fucking and being fucked before I am so old my dick falls off!”

“Fine! Just for a few minuets we need to see how your going to react. But one bit of tension or reaction in a negative way I am re-glazing them got it?!” he bites my pec right above my nipple and I groan.

“Sir?” I ask looking where I knew him to be last “You are being very quiet.”

“I think this is not the best of Ideas but I trust you so ya babe we can try it. What do you need from us.” He has sat on the bed near me and is stroking my thigh. 

“Well I want to see you first go from there, but if it goes well I want to see you take Winter apart a bit. Paddle that amazing ass of his and let me see him beg for you to let him come.” My cock jumps in the cage and I finch a bit. 

“Well that is pretty specific there but I think we can make that happen.” I hear Sir’s voice get more assertive. “I think I have given James a bit too much leeway when it comes to you and its time to remind him who is in control here. What do you think pet?”

James huffs from the bed. “I took care of you Pet just remember that huh?!” I would worry he was really upset, but I know that tone. 

“I asked him to paddle you, and I know you love it. You think I forgot all you are doing for me. I just want to see your cared for.” I smile my all teeth smile I normally use on the press. 

“Well let’s start with the googles then.” I hear sir pick up something from the bedside and my vision clears up. I see James first as he is still wrapped around me. 

“Hello sweet and sassy” I keep smiling. I can’t flinch no matter what I see in Sir’s face James will feel the tension and end this. I spin my head and look up at him. He has the face of Sir when he is needing us to be good for him. To tear us apart and break us down. He is stressed and tight but its him. “Hello sir, you look like shit.” 

“Thanks Pet and you look like you need your ass tanned but that’s for another day.” Its not perfect but its him. It may be the last of Cho’s meds in my system but I don’t care. 

“Take them off please I want to watch.” I look at James then back to Sir.

“Ok but you are staying bound. I know it will keep you from hurting yourself if it goes wrong.” I agree I did not want to be lose anyhow. This is where Sir put me and no matter what changes I am safe here. 

“James take them off and go stand at the foot of the bed bend over and hold on to the foot board facing pet.” There is no second guessing him, it is a firm command and my body quivers. James does as he is told efficiently. A quick peck on my lips as he pulls them off.  
“I am leaving the plug in Winter for that. I did not say you could kiss him.” The look on Winter’s face is pure joy.

“Oh God Yes sir sorry” he rushes to the end of the bed and bends over looking right at me. “I missed this.” 

“You are not going to be saying that for long.” Sir turns to me. “Pet how many?”

“mmmm 10 to start sir, may I make a request?” I still see Steve. Thank God!

“You may.” He is playing one off the other, we have done this a million times. James loves this game. 

“Take off his cage, and make him work at not coming. I want to see him in pieces begging you like that night on stage. Oh God sir you were so fucking hard sitting there. It was so hot.”

“You little shit!” I hear Winter from the end of the bed. “You know I failed that night! I” sir takes two large steps to the end of the bed and smack winter’s ass hard.

“I did not ask you to talk Sub! You will be silent until I say to speak again. Clear?” Winter almost breaks his teeth with how hard he closes his mouth. “I think that is a great idea Pet you are so right. I love to see our boy struggle.”

“I was going to be kind” he grabs a handful of Winter’s hair. “Leave you a tight ring to help you but now your mouth has gotten the better of you. I think 10 is too kind and I think you are able to do this without any help.” He is growling almost. “shall we raise the stakes?” 

I love this. This is my two men how my mind knows them. I could not see anyone other than sir and James this way. “Yes sir” Winter whines.

“If you get though 10 without cumming I will fuck your pretty little ass and you can come as many times as you like whenever you need to, But if you fuck up and cum before 10 I will lock you in that cage until Pet is ready and able to fuck you. You will not cum at all until then. Agreed?” Oh fuck if I could get hard right now I would!

“Sir! Please I know I can’t do this, not with the paddle. Anything else please!” he is being honest Sir knows that. 

“Anything? James think what your offering. I can use any tool I want to and you will take 10 silent hits. Not crying or begging.” I see the gears turning in this trap. Sir will cane if him he agrees. Winter is still weighing the options. Sir kneels between his legs and pulls the keys from his dog tags to unlock the cage. 

Winter hates the bite of the cane, we don’t use them often only if he is being a brat. It’s one of the only tools that will bring him back inline where he needs to be. I am wondering if that is where he is at now. Has it been so long that he has not really been under he needs that?

“Yes Yes sir yes please I can’t fail you anything you want. Anything you need. Please! just not the paddle, not without the cage. Pet is evil for asking” He is glaring at me. I think he might be mad but he smiles a twitch of his lip. 

“Winter I am taking the cage off but I am pretty sure you wont need to worry about Cuming for me now.” The cage falls free and Sir stand and walks to the closet.

“How many days James?” He knows what I am asking. 

“Fully under?” he asks back pretty clear eyed a touch of shine to them but nothing off putting.

“Yes” I ask glancing back to sir who is still looking over his options. 

“Last time we were all together before the mission.” I gasp its not healthy for a sub to go that long.

“He has been off and I can’t seem to get there when any call we get could have been an issue with you. I let him take me down a bit to take the edge off but not fully under. He is getting the cane isnet he?” I grin but shake my head.

“Fuck!” I gasp as he comes in with just what James was worried about. “ I would be quiet now Winter.” Sir lays the cane down in front of winter on the bed. 

“You offered Winter so now your going to take what I have to give. You ready? 10 stokes no warm up and you are silent. I know you want to feel me fill your ass like I did your throat.” James has not take his eyes off the cane. It is the thinnest we own. 

“I do sir I am ready” He looks at me. I feel a bit ashamed I just wanted him to enjoy this. I kinda feel bad now. 

The first strike is not more than a tap and James rolls his eyes but does not say anything. The next one lands hard on his ass crest and he clenches his eyes. “Ya brat roll those pretty peepers again for me.!” He swings again and I can see the pretty red lines start to form. “That’s what I thought. Look at him Pet all talk and now not even a moan.” He hits again 3 more times. “for more my pretty cock slut.” I can see winter’s cock from here it is hard as a rock, and he is biting his lips to stay quiet. He has closed his eyes a few times but does not look away form me. “God I knew there was a reason we keep you around.”

No god not that why I see Ben suddenly. I am on my knees ‘Show me why the captain keeps an unruly bitch like you around. If you don’t do it right I am going to tighten the chain on the choker until you do. Understand me?’ I nod

I hear the cane but its too far away I see Ben and try to close my eyes. Its not Ben that is Sir and winter. “Oh so Good for me Sub,” another 2 hard smacks with the cane. Winter’s face is contorted in pain. A tear rolls down my face and I hear Sir again. “Check in winter”

“Good sir” He sounds strained. There is a pain in his voice. 

‘Do you want to be good for me?” He has switched tones again’ It Ben asking me if I want to be good for him. No, I want to fight. I can’t fight I know better. I want sir to be proud. I shake my head and open my eyes. I look at winter.

“James look at me please!” I am begging I know it. He opens his eyes he is under fully. Sir hits him again 2 more times and he opens his mouth to speak but I shake my head. I need to get the flashback clear of my mind. “I want you so badly James. Your amazing like this. You have 3 more. You are so strong and I love you for it.” I still see Ben hitting him but Sir has stopped talking. “I can’t wait to see him fuck you raw” I know it’s sir and I flex my hands to keep still. I will not fucking panic. 2 more stipes land and these cross the other and he almost whimpers. 

“Last one Winter.” Sir is stroking over the marks to help ease the tension. “you have been so good you can scream if you need to with the last one. I am going to fuck you.” I love hearing the voice, and I want to see the final blow land. It’s a full hard swing that hands across both thighs and winter screams loudly. Its blood curdling and high pitched. 

I reel back from the scream and I'm thrown in to my memory; back tied to the table the scream is not James it mine. Ben is cutting me and I see them watching. I scream again. Another slice. I lost the bedroom and the ties are Bens he has me tied to the table. “Help Sir Help please!” I am calling out to the room again, I did this them I asked them to cut on Bucky to save me. I open my eyes and Bucky is over the end of the bed so fast I almost missed him moving. 

“Tony come on baby open your eyes look at me, Fuck Steve? Hand me the meds and get him out of these.” I feel the arms around me as he is stoking my sides. “I'm sorry baby I should have seen you were struggling.” I hear Steve but my eyes are closed. “I have you now its ok we are going to make this ok.” I feel the prick of the needle and the room goes dark as the heat blooms over me. I feel the ropes being pulled off me and hear them speaking.

“it was too soon, we shouldn’t gone this far into a scene. Damn it I knew better!” Bucky is warning Steve. 

“Bucky you need time under he wanted to watch I trust Tony. He wanted this, and I want you both to get what you need.” Steve’s voice is still stern.

“I worry he pushes himself too far too soon.” The fire in my veins subsides.

“fuck him…Ben Fuck him and what he did” I choke out. “Untie me. I'm good just like before let me see and feel it.”

“Nope not this time Anthony. We went along…” just as my hands are freed as Sir is sliding the rope off my chest I reach out and grab Bucky by the back of his neck and pull his face close to mine. With my other free hand snake down to his cock and stroke a few times. He is still simi hard “I want this hard and needy for him Bucky please, I helped pull you kicking and screaming out of soldier headspace. You beggin’ me to keep going that you were ok. I though you should stop then and let us comfort you. What did you say to me?” I looked back at Steve he seemed ok to let us sort this out. As he had many times before.

I tug hard on Bucky when he does not answer quick enough “Ahh.. oh fuck Tony. I told you to burn the ice from my veins. Let any pain I have be his. Don’t stop.” 

“I want any screams I hear to be ours, from him.” I toss a look over Bucky’s shoulder. I move my hand from his now hard cock and up over the welts still blooming on his as. He yelps “from us. I never want to hear screams from that room again, so Don’t. Stop.” I rake my long nails down his ass and thigh. He screams for me. I let the memory wash over me as he keeps up the sound. I am still here I know its Bucky under my hands. “Sir… Please!” I grit out. It’s the memory I need burned from my mind. I want them to finish what we started. “Don’t stop!”

“Ok pet ok” I am laying now flat out with James on all fours straddling my legs. His cock is resting on my hip. Sir comes to crawl over me too. I see his face over James shoulder. It still looks like Ben and I jerk up for a second but readjust. I must do this. “Winter I think you have more than earned this.” He slowly worked the plug out of winters ass. “Go on baby relax you pretty ass for me huh.”

I feel Bucky tense up still here with us. He is not under anymore. Sir knows it too. “Sub I am going to take this pretty ass of yours; now we can do this easy or hard, but you are going to give it up best to relax.” He brings a big hand down hard on winters ass and sure as shit he screams again. I feel his legs go loose. “That’s it you just needed a little reminder who you belong too ya baby? Who is it huh where do you and He belong?” He smacks again and grabs his hair hard. “Look at him and remind him who you two fucking belong too.”

His blue eyes meet mine “We Belong to Steve Rogers, He is our Sir. Body and soul for all of our days” It is the last line of our contracts right before we signed them.

I see the moment when Sir enters James and slams home. “Your god damn right and you have been woefully neglected Winter I am sorry for that.” He slammed home again. “But I won’t let you or pet forget..” Then he slaps his ass again, and this reaching out for my face and slipping a finger over my lips. “ you are fucking mine NO one is going to touch you ever again. I will kill anyone who tries. I swear I will.” He keeps rucking into James body and I feel James cock twitch as he comes. 

“Sir!! Pet Fuck Oh my God. So good. Please Sir harder hurt my ass hole. I want to remember this for a long time.” There is a look on Sirs face a pleased look that seems to click into place. I know him.  
“Are his eyes open pet? Is he watching out for you?” I look into James face, his eyes are glazed over from coming and he is slack jawed, and yet he is staring right at me.

“Yes, Sir Winter is always watching out for me.” The whole of the scene clicks into place for me. Its more that a moment. Sirs face never becomes Ben’s again. “Please sir don’t stop Harder fuck his ass harder.” I wrap my fingers around James cock again and he comes right on the spot. 

“I am about to fill you up are you ready Winter?” He slams hard into James again and again.

“Yes sir do it. Then plug me back up. I want to feel you all night as I sleep. Want to be lose so if you want to you can just pull the plug out and fuck me some more.” He bends down pulling at the hand in his hair and kisses me. I hear sir cum with a holler and James follows. Yep I am home. This is going to be ok. We are going to be ok.

I can deal with the other fall out later. For now I have my boys and we are going to make it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for coming along on this ride with me. I have another story planned for this series so keep an eye out. This is going to run parallel to my other Stuckony fics. Please tell me what you think, what you loved or hated about this work.  
> I am also on tumbler shalandrial I do take requests for works and Ideas always.
> 
> Don't forget to feed your author we eat Kudos and comments.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this you enjoyed this. I think I am going to be 3 chap long but I am not sure yet! Feedback and comments are always welcome and KUDOs are my crack!!  
> I can be found on tumbler @shalandrial


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